There are only two certainties in life: Death and Taxes. I would like to add a third: Making mistakes.
It is something we are all bound to do and no matter how hard we try and risk averse we may be, we are bound to make at least one mistake in our lives.
I made a mistake today and that is what gave me the inspiration to write this post as it is such an important thing to reflect upon.
I believe that how you first deal with a mistake and how you subsequently deal with a mistake will depend on what kind of frame of mind you are in.
If you are in a positive frame of mind making a mistake can be a great thing as it can push you to be better and to see it as something that you can learn from.
If you are in a negative frame of mind it can be a bad thing as it can cause you to spiral out of control and lead you down the wrong path.
Therefore before doing anything you must create the right environment for you to be able to make mistakes but take them as learning experiences. Some of the things that can help with this are:
- Taking care of your mind so you can stay positive e.g. regular points of reflection, eating well, keeping active, doing what is on your happy list, etc.
- Surround yourself with supportive people.
- Having a good line manager/mentor/coach that can help advise you.
First Thoughts When You Make A Mistake
Can't believe how stupid I am! Everyone is going to be so disappointed in me. Can I cover it up? How did I let that happen?
These are just some of the thoughts I would have when I make a mistake. However this is perfectly normal and majority of people are going to feel like this instantly when they make a mistake.
One part of you wants to yourself how stupid it is, dwell on the impact of the mistake and blowing it out of proportion. The other part wants to work out how it can cover it up and hope it goes away.
The important part is to let it out of your system. Take a moment for your thoughts to subside and calm down. A great technique I discovered is to go for a run or walk and just the change in environment and some fresh air does wonders for making your mind calm down.
Does your mistake matter?
Once those first thoughts have died down and I have myself in a rational frame of mind again I then go in to the logical thinking mode.
The first question I ask myself is: Does it matter that I have made this mistake? A part of trying to understand whether it matters is understanding the impact of my mistake. Who has it affected? What has it affected?
If the answer to the question of 'Does it Matter?' is no when I just let it go and move on.
However if the answer is yes I then I need to work out if I can do something to fix it. If there is nothing I can do then I need to to do the same as above and let it go and move on. This will be harder to do now considering it mattered and there may be things to do such as own up and apologise but apart from that there isn't much more you can do.
If there is something I can do then I will go ahead and do it. Might be worth consulting with someone you trust to check your rationale but once you are happy then act on it.
The Inquest After Making A Mistake
I like to call this the inquest as I think it is exactly that. You made a mistake, you fixed it or you couldn't fix it and you have to let it go. However before you do that you must do an inquest as it is the most important part.
The reason this is the important part is that this is part that everyone talks about when they say you learn from mistakes or that mistakes are a blessing.
I would ask myself these 3 questions in my inquest:
- Why/How did it happen?
- How can I prevent it happening again? (putting measures in place)
- What have I learned from this?
Once I can answer those 3 questions I am then truly happy to move on and make the next mistake!
Yes I'll make another mistake but if I have done the above correctly it should be a different mistake, not the same one!
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Thanks for reading,
Gav
